My name is Caryn Swart – and I would like to begin by giving my background history – to contextualise the journey that I traveled, how far I’ve come, and how the choice of a healthier lifestyle, currently leaves me able to live life with confidence, wisdom, happiness and full of energy.

I was born in Durban in 1977, and lived there for all of my life, until the age of 18. I had a very turbulent adolesance, and was diagnosed with Clinical Depression at the age of 13, with symptoms of self mutilation and an eating disorder – bulimia. From the age of 13 – 18, I was hospitalised on average 3 times a year, for extended periods of time to deal with my depression – with several suicide attempts, and also to try control the eating disorder. I was prescribed several different types of heavy psychiatric medications to control my very erratic behavior. During this time I was also the victim of rape.

Having come from a family who are ALL overweight I made it my mission to educate myself on healthy eating, and I was an exercise freak – exercising twice daily. I loved the exercise, and it almost became a form of addiction for me. I was not going to become overweight, and did everything in my power to keep the weight off – even if it was not the healthiest of ways – I was extreme.

I met my current life partner at the age of 18, and moved to Johannesburg in 1996 to begin my life and career with him. I lived in Johannesburg for 3 years – and I can say that during this time – I excelled in my life, having been away from Durban, which carried much hurt for me. To throw myself into creating my own life, and starting a career – did much for my self esteem. This was not however without its own set of complexities. To cope with my depression, and all the issues I was not able to maturely deal with at this time, I led a life of alcohol and drug abuse. My partner also told me this was an issue for me, with which I needed to deal with, although I was not ready to deal with my alcohol and drug abuse at this time. Despite this - he remained constantly supportive. During this time I always maintained a good exercise regime – but my issues around food were always with me and the bulimia continued. I also kept my weight down – but this was not because of healthy measures, the mix of exercise, drugs and erratic eating habits – kept my weight down.

In 1999 – at the age of 21, we moved to Dubai – and lived there for one year – and this is where I began my career in advertising. The drug abuse stopped during this year, but my heavy drinking continued. My bulimia was also rife during this year. I believe it was due to my lack of exercise and the fact that there were no drugs – I am extreme and needed to substitute the drugs with a different manifestation of addiction – my bulimia.

In 2000 – age 22, my partner and I moved to Cape Town – a very positive move for mine and his advertising careers, and my career has only moved from strength to strength while being in Cape Town, which is where we currently call home – despite many setbacks along the way – which I believe is just a part of living life. On moving to Cape Town, and in the absence of not having a job at the time – my obsession around food began once again – and I put myself on a hectic diet and exercise regime – again not the most healthy – and with drugs back in the mix. . . I was on, what I thought to be a ‘winning combination’. The alcohol and drug abuse was in full swing.

In 2002 – age 25, I fell pregnant, and this was also a very volatile time within my relationship, we were on the verge of splitting up. We decided to have the baby, however I made the decision to move back to Durban to be with my family and have their support. I resigned from my job, left my partner and packed up my life in Cape Town. At 7 months pregnant with my son, and within a week of arrival in Durban – we discovered very serious complications with my pregnancy – the prognosis was not good – if I carried full term – my son was not going to make it. My partner dropped everything to be with me in Durban, and we made the decision to give our son a chance at life, and after several days in hospital on bed rest – I had an emergency caesarian, and Callum was born – 2 months premature and 1.7kg – again his long term prognosis was not good – but 12 days he fought for his life within the Neonatal ICU at St Augustine’s Hospital in Durban. It was on the 12th day of his very precious life – that my partner and I made the devastating decision to switch Callum’s ventilator off – his kidney’s had failed! My partner went back to Cape Town – to try and gather the remaining pieces of his life.

After that – well all I can is that denial followed – I did not deal with that trauma for at least the first year after his death. Instead I booked myself on first possible flight out of South Africa to see some long lost friends who were living in the UK – and to ‘enjoy’ life. . . well at least that is what I told myself. . . alcohol and drugs were once again on my agenda.

After my trip from Europe - I returned to live in Cape Town, and again decided to throw myself back into my career, however the pieces were unraveling. . .and the inevitable happened….I had a severe mental breakdown. I joined an organization called ‘compassionate friends’ – a non-profit organisation for parents who have lost children, and met the most amazing woman – who is still very much a part of my life today. Around mid 2003 with the help of my family, current life partner, therapist and my compassionate woman friend – I was admitted to Kenilworth Psychiatric Unit. This was the beginning of my ‘recovery’ process of living a life free of alcohol, drug and food abuse. I was at Kenilworth Psychiatric Unit for 3 weeks, and then shortly after that – I was admitted to Kenilworth Addiction Unit for 3 weeks, and then to Tharagay Secondary Addiction Care for 2 months. During this treatment time of 4 months – I interrogated my issues around body image, and my behavior disorder and pathology of alcohol, drug and food abuse – I of course also learnt to deal with the trauma and grief of losing my son Callum. It was at this time that I decided to leave the Advertising Industry.

In my recovery process from 2003 – 2006, age 26 – 28, I maintained relatively healthy eating, however not much exercise – and fell pregnant with my daughter Chloe in early 2006. . .this is when I really started gaining a lot of weight. Chloe was born, 1 month premature on 29th December 2006 – although a little sick at birth – and in Kingsbury Neonatal for 2 weeks – she came home. I was almost 90 kg when she came home – and not happy. Given my predisposition to depression, I suffered terribly with post natal depression and used food as my source of comfort. After Chloe’s birth – I lost a couple of kg’s – but not much and remained at 84kg for the next 3 years. It was 6 months after Chloe’s birth that I decided I missed being in Advertising, and picked up my career in advertising once again.

BEFORE PICTURES: 11TH JANUARY 2010

At the end of 2008 – I had enough – and I wanted to re-instill the exercise ethic within me, and made the decision to get a trainer. My Personal Trainer is Warren Ahrens, two times Mr. Physique South Africa 2008 and 2010. He is one of the best qualified Personal Trainers in Cape Town, working closely with, and having trained under Shameen Adams – he has a wealth of knowledge and experience. He is a competitive athlete himself and has assisted many athletes who have wanted to compete in Body Building Contests.

This is where my journey of lifelong health and fitness began. My weight shifted – with Warren as an excellent fitness motivator and professional – my body started to change, however he was constantly on at me about my FOOD & DIET – however I was not ready to take that step. At the end of 2009, after all the ‘seeds’ Warren planted in my mind, and feeling very intrigued by the ‘fitness industry’, and after feeling inspired when a close friend of mine in Johannesburg told me she had entered Iron Man – I thought to myself. . .It’s all about goal setting!

At the end of 2009 – I went to see Jan Lategan (a Sport’s Nutritionist and professional Gymnast and Athlete), who Warren recommended and works closely with – and decided that with the help of Warren and Jan – I was going to enter the 12 week USN challenge.

On starting the challenge on 11th January 2010 I weighed 84kg and I was 47% body fat. In February 2010 – because I was coming from such a high body fat percentage – Warren and Jan suggested that I enter the SA Fitness 2010 challenge which is part of the largest Fitness Pageant in the Southern Hemisphere, Mr. and Ms. Fitness SA - which I agreed to.

Wow, what a 9 month journey. During this time – my daughter Chloe was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis, a life threatening, non curable disease which affects the lungs and pancreas, which if not managed through daily prevention and medication – can be fatal. I can truly say that if it was not for my focus around my health goal – I would have crumbled at this news – but given my focus, I took charge, and Chloe’s health is currently in very good shape.

I went on to WIN the SA Fitness 2010 challenge, having lost over 83% of my body fat – and at competition final I was weighing 67kg with 10% body fat. I also set a benchmark of body fat loss for this category.  In 2011 I want to enter a more professional category in the Mr and Ms. Fitness SA – Ms Physique. . . that is my 2011 goal!

AFTER PICTURES: 18TH SEPTEMBER 2010

Everything that I have shared with you – has taken me on a spiritual journey through my life – and made me who I am today – I have no regrets. I have a set of spiritual lessons that I live by – which help me and give me the tools to live my life in a calm and peaceful manner. How I find peace within my obsession around weight and food – is to be focused and dedicated – however not extreme, and I do this with the help of my body professionals – Warren Ahrens (Personal Trainer) and Jan Lategan (Sports Nutritionist). Without them I would not have been able to achieve the goal that I did, and I am truly blessed to have them and all my other nearest and dearest in my life.

I still take daily medication for my depression (morning and evening) – and I have accepted the fact that this is a lifelong decision, along with the healthy regime of balanced exercise and eating. I have developed such a passion for the fitness industry that it is now a dream for me to be a professional athlete – like Warren and Jan, and potentially study and pursue a career in it. Although for the moment I am incredibly grateful for my current position of Account Director at JWT Advertising – which I started in June 2010, and I am very happy to have made the move – I also have my focus of health goals to thank for my happiness and success in my new position. . .I cannot begin to describe the confidence the win of this fitness challenge has instilled in every corner and relationship in my life. I have my self esteem back – I’m in my prime. . . .ready to take anything on. . . and I feel GREAT!

If I can give anyone advice who wants to lose weight – and wants to do it properly – seek the help of professionals, such as Warren and Jan. Weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle through food and exercise, if you are predisposed to easy weight gain and serious about it -  is not an easy task. To get the balance of muscle to body fat ratio is a science – not something that can be achieved on your own, and can only be achieved through the right food and exercise. These are very practical and lifelong tools, that you can invest in – in the short term – but you will have them forever, and tips that you can only get from professionals.

I think of it this way – when I had trouble with my mental health – I searched and pay good money to get help from therapy and the professionals who could give me that help – and it worked. So when my body was in distress – and I was heading for diabetes and heart disease later in life – I decided to give my body the same treatment….I invested good money and asked the professionals for help. . . and I am not sorry. . . look at my results. . . watch this space for Mr. and Ms. Fitness 2011, and me on stage in a bikini!

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